making links — by PILCROW

February 15, 2008

“Grandpa, he promised.”

“I heard him.”

“Dad’s not a liar.”

“Kevin, he doesn’t make promises like you and I make promises, like grandma makes a promise. Like we should make a promise.”

He promises like my dad made promises, like a doctor makes a promise, like an old indian makes promises.

George always made the biggest promises. He had promised not to stay out late with the truck. He had promised to return Brother Anderson’s lawnmower and left it rusting in the shed all fall, winter, and spring. He promised to get his mission papers ready and drove to Washington with his friends. He promised the bishop he had repented.

He promised Linda he would buy her a better ring. He promised her he was saving for a down payment. He promised he hadn’t been with anyone else.

He promised Kevin a big dog and brought him one, a tattered stuffed plush brown hound from DI. He promised Kevin a big vacation and tooled him around the valley then bummed a big, sweet shake for them to share from a friend at The Purple Turtle. He promised Kevin that Linda wouldn’t die. Reed hoped Kevin hadn’t been big enough to remember that promise. After twenty years of lies, Reed still held hope for his son until Wendy told him about that promise.

“How the hell could you tell him that?” Out of temper, his gentile vocabulary sparked.

“Dad, Kevin doesn’t need to worry, he’s only -”

“She’ll be gone before the end of the month.”

” – and there’s still no reason to tell him that.”

“George now he’s sure his mom is going to get better -”

“So were you! What about that blessing you gave her?”

Reed flinched and fled to the bedroom, rage gone but his hands still shaking, his body wrenched by indefatigable love and worry. George turned on The History Channel, setting the volume low enough that Reed couldn’t ask him to turn it down but loud enough that Reed couldn’t forget he was there, couldn’t sleep, withdraw. Reed had known that Linda wasn’t going to leave his grandson alone with Reed’s son, had known that the Spirit had told him that, and had promised Linda all this in choice words with the whole family listening. When Linda was put on the breathing machine Reed waited for George to bring it up, but as time passed he started to wonder if George had finally learned restraint. George had just learned better control of his weapons.

Reed’s promises stayed with him. Kevin had been given Linda’s green eyes, George’s crooked smile, and Reed’s earnestness, credulity. This skinny gullible boy was his solace. Reed knew he vested too much in him but he didn’t want to learn not to. Kevin was filled with integrity of his own initiative just as Reed had always been. George made his own break from the chain but Reed would not let him break away with the boy.

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